I know it’s been a few days since I’ve updated. But maybe I’m just not that into you (soooooo pumped about that movie coming out). Or maybe it’s that Matt Waldman clogged my toilet (twice) this weekend. You decide. Actually, this was ready yesterday but I elected (pun intended) not to post it so I wouldn’t steal any of Barry Obama’s thunder. You’re welcome.
For those of you who know Waldman and company, you’ll realize that this weekend was absolutely insane. Here’s a prime example of a night with Waldman. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen this weekend. I know you want details but you can’t have them.
We did manage to make it to the Georgia vs. Kentucky game (on two hours of sleep) and watched the worst display of basketball I’ve seen since the Monstars took the court in the Alpharetta Rec League. Kentucky won by 33 including tip slams from Jodie Meeks, Patrick Patterson and Perry Stevenson. I believe every member of the Wildcats blocked a shot. It was evident my ability to rattle players before the game was a bit rusty. Luckily for the Dawgs, I’ve been working on my J with Dr. Stephen McCloskey and should be in shape for next season (depending on where my NBA draft projections are).
The lone positive that came from the game was a brief encounter with Dave Bliss. Bliss played for the Dawgs last season and took out a couple of Kentucky players in his last game. One of the Kentucky crew, PWatts, hates Bliss more than I hate Rachel Nichols (I wonder how many people she slept with to get that job. Over/under is at 5). Bliss walked by our seats in the front row and I called him over to shake his hand and to see PWatt’s reaction. As Bliss walked away, here was the conversation:
PWatts: You have a fake SEC Championship ring.
Bliss (turning around): What’d you say?
PWatts (while pissing his pants): I’m just kidding man, I respect your game.
Gotta say, I lost a lot of respect for PWatts right there.
In other news, Rick Reilly recently wrote an article about Beer Pong. I couldn’t take the article seriously at all after seeing the picture at the top of the page. That’s a clear leaning violation. The article also talks about filling cups with water. No comment.
The Kobe vs. LeBron matchup wasn’t quite what I was hoping for. Kobe dislocated his finger in the first couple of minutes so naturally he sat out the rest of the game. Oh wait, he played the whole game and said he’d play with the pain for the rest of the season. Straight Baller. I did defeat Hans in my prediction that LeBron would score more and the Lakers would win. Hans took Kobe to score more. Boom goes the dynamite.
The other thing that stood out to me was that Pau Gasol is the ugliest man on the planet. Seriously bro, you’re in LA: You need to look good.
Also stemming from this game was a strangely confusing moment with my roommate, Laurenz (Larry). During the game, TNT showed a close-up of Phil Jackson. Larry asked me, “Don’t you think Phil Jackson is looking less black as he gets older?” At first, I thought Larry was confusing Phil with Michael but quickly discovered that Larry thought Phil Jackson was black. As you can see here, he’s clearly not. Where he got his information, I’m not sure, but he’s German so I’ll give him a pass.
That’s all I got for now. Until next time, Ball Hard.
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