Georgia finally won their first SEC basketball game this Saturday against Florida. If that’s the only win we get for the rest of the season, I’ll be happy. That was unbelievably satisfying.
I hate Chandler Parsons more than any other Florida Gator. My hatred first started last season when Parsons threw down a dunk during a blowout in Athens. The dunk itself wasn’t too bad but when Parsons blew out his guns after I realized he was not only the epitomy of a Gator but the definition of “toolbag.”
The hatred has been simmering ever since and I wish evil upon him whenever his ugly mug disgraces my television. Parsons continued his wrench-like behavior in Athens with his excessive chest bumping and head nodding during warmups. Parsons actually had a decent game which was disappointing, but did look like an ass with his Tim Tebow-like yelling on the sideline. Obviously I’m not a big fan of Timmy but at least he’s a straight baller. Parsons can’t pull off the yelling and motivating when he’s so god-awful and looks like an underfed ogre. Here’s a great shot of Parsons’ ability. I’m yet to decide what was more satisfying, the victory or seeing Parsons so visibly upset after the game.
Unfortunately, I was not able to get the last laugh. Later that night at an undisclosed location, I saw a guy in a Florida Gator polo. I pointed to his Gator and laughed and shot a wet jumper in his eye. He smiled, pulled his hand out of his pocket and pointed to his BCS national championship ring. Damnit.
Until next time, Ball as hard as Terrance Woodbury.
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